Random topic in my diary- burnout
Have you ever felt burnout from your life? Doing your daily basis routine overwhelms you. This is what I feel right now; it's not that I'm not grateful or happy in my life. I appreciate my life and what I have. The idea of waking up healthy and safe is my most significant treasure. Then what is my problem? Maybe you ask, and I ask myself as well. What is going wrong with me? I have been through these days before and knew what had triggered me to be submissive. I'm tired, and I discovered that what I'm doing no longer motivates me. Nothing makes me joyful, smiley, and excited to wake up from my sleep and achieve it. I don't think this is a depression or a swing mood. The question is, what is this? Is this what they call life burnout? Does going out, traveling, sleeping, or watching a show thrill me? I wondered why we people have to go through this time. Feeling empty inside and out, I discovered I lost my vision of what I once dreamed of being one day.
I saw one of my first blog posts, and I read it and tried to remember how I felt back then, how I'm feeling right now, and how I've changed to this day. I lost my voice in writing and my voice in real life. I'm doing my dream job to please others, not me. What happened to my plans? I forgot to remember to revisit them. It's my nature to forget what I planned and go with the flow; yes, that's me. When I graduated from university, I was lost and naive about life. What I used to know was studying and learning, no hobbies, no friends, no plans, no nothing. I decided to discover myself first, so who am I? What do I want from this life? Am I satisfied with my life? What is my routine? I started a new routine, trying a bunch of recreations. Some I have until this day, and some I did not feel myself doing anymore. I was like an empty notebook with plenty of pages and a vast space to contain as much writing content as possible without complaining. Everything was new and fun until I felt bored.
These days, I'm tired of trying and having energy for basics only. I question every move. What am I doing this for? I must have a reason and a strong one to keep me motivated. Sometimes, I look at people and think about how spontaneous they are. Some days, I don't care about life's needs, but other days, I want to taste what I have never eaten. If I touch something to experiment, it will burn me, maybe or not. Doing what I do for years and not seeing a benefit is heartbreaking. I took breaks. Perhaps that would help me charge my soul. It helped, but I felt uncomfortable after a couple of weeks. I assume it may be because I'm different from others and my life situation is different. This is life. No one's chapter is similar to the other, making me live my life in my time and need. Yes, I'm having a burnout, but I feel much better than years ago when I suffered from it. I have more knowledge and experience in life than before. I get up and fight it even though I know I'm struggling and I need a change, but I say, is there any comfort in this life? We have to struggle to have a home, we have to struggle to get married, we have to struggle to have kids, we have to struggle in love, and we have to be in pain until we die.
So, how I overcome burnout:
1. I take a deep breath two times, take a second to feel the present moments, and see that I'm okay; it's just a random feeling, like any feeling, that will go away sooner or later.
2- Smile: Even if I fake it, I smile and laugh because I choose to.
3-I take a break between each task. I need some rest before starting the other one.
4-I told me what I should do if I'm feeling burnout from my daily routine, the routine I had dreamed about for years, and if I quit doing it. Nothing. I will sleep and watch series all day, and that's a no for me. So, I will do it like a big girl.
5-No body forces me to have this routine or to live my life this way, so I have to accept the struggles that come with it.
6-I remind myself of my life years ago, and I don't see myself returning to square one.
7-Allah is my first support, so whenever I feel like this, I ask him for help and protection from devils.
8-I taught myself to enjoy everything, even days like this because I will look for it one day and say I wish I did that or changed that.
9-I no longer feel attached to my goals or dreams, so I feel light and free to take my time with every step.
10-I remind me that every day, week, month, and year is different. I must love it regardless of its struggles and pain because we are visitors to this earth, not immortals.
